Pets Help to Open Our Hearts

People love to talk about their pets -- the happiness they enjoy from living with them and the entertainment value from watching them. The grief they feel when their pet dies or goes missing is deep and profound. The most interesting part of writing Open Your Hearts with Pets was learning the stories of other pet lovers and giving them the opportunity to share those stories with readers.

Most of those who responded to my request for stories had parrots or dogs, some had cats and a few horses. Many had multiple species of pets. Several respondents faced the daily challenge of a chronic illness and wanted it noted that their pet helped them greatly in facing this challenge and coping with a life that was not always easy. One of the questions I asked in the questionnaires that were sent was "How has your pet helped you to have a more open heart?" The feedback was wonderful and pet lovers were generous and open-hearted in their willingness to share with others how loving a pet had opened their heart.

One cannot consider how to have a more open heart without recognizing the signs of a heart that is less than open. Think of a door; it is not just open or closed, there are varying degrees of openness. Surely our hearts must be the same way.

Closed-heartedness (think of the Grinch whose heart was "two sizes too small") might creep in as a result of traumatic circumstances, illness, or when we feel broken-hearted and wounded. Think of a physical wound, inflamed and raw. Then, our energy is sapped as all resources are mustered to fight infection and rebuild new tissue. The new tissue may not look the same as what had been there "before," and scar tissue, a bit tougher, covers the wound. Perhaps our hearts and souls respond to trauma in a similar way.

If you have suffered the death of a close family member or friend, the loss of a job, the end of a marriage, or the challenge of a serious medical diagnosis, you may have experienced the numbness that comes with the shock of bad news. Life recedes. Happiness fades. Joy evaporates. Eventually, the heart and mind begin to believe that this horrible news is, indeed, true. Adjustments are made internally and externally to incorporate this truth into "life after."

There is no doubt in the minds of pet lovers: spending time with a pet is good for what ails us. Their unconditional love, their beckoning us to "stop and smell the roses," their funny antics and the way our pets draw others to us--all good medicine for our hearts.

Today, Valentine's Day, I celebrate and give thanks to the animals who have opened my heart. Some of them are featured here in photos.

1. With Tyler. Photo by Mark V. Williams

2. Sweet and Beautiful Farley

3. Gracie, our parrot

4. Jackie and Tyler on a hike.

How Open-Hearted Are We?

When I was a child, more than one doctor or dentist's office we visited had a sample volume of a children's Bible in the waiting room. Perhaps you remember them? They were large, hardcover books with bright blue covers and color illustrations within. One illustration showed a blonde-haired Jesus knocking on a door. The door represented a child's heart.

Leaving behind the questions that image might raise, imagine that our hearts are like a door. Not the blood-pumping, life-sustaining organ in our chest, but the seat of our soul and spirit as a human being. A closed mind can be a dangerous thing. A closed heart invites empathy . . . or pity.

We are not born with our hearts closed. (Our minds either, for that matter.) Something happens. An event, most likely caused by another person – someone close enough to do real damage – and the door to our heart closes just a bit.

With a completely open heart at one end, and a completely closed and dysfunctional heart at the other, most of us fall somewhere in between.

Are you up for a bit of self-analysis? On a scale of 1 (closed) to 10 (open) where was your heart 20 years ago? Ten years ago? Yesterday? And, more importantly, where would you like it to be?

Why Are Pets So Great at Opening Our Hearts?

What is it about a dog, cat, parrot, or other pet that enables it to gently nudge (or, in the case of Golden Retrievers, gallop) their way into our lives and hearts? Certainly, there's the "cute factor." But only some of the pets that folks adopt or purchase are adorable puppies, kittens, or geeky, dependant parrots. The desire to love, nurture, rescue... that's a strong desire for many people. Yet, even these people who are thinking of what they can give to the animal, are surprised to find it's the pet that ends up bringing so much to their lives.

We might forget who our best friend was in third grade, but we remember our childhood pet. How they listened, how they smelled, their funny antics. It is this acceptance by animals that allows them to help those of us whose hearts might be a bit closed, "a few sizes too small," as Dr. Seuss might say.

Animals are unique to humans in their ability (gentle or tenacious depending on the species) to make progress into the heart of a person who, for whatever reason, is limping along in life with the door to their heart firmly bolted. The very fact that this closing of the heart is often the result of our experiences with another human being enables the dependant, forgiving, and dependable animal to encourage us to keep on.

Like many kids, I was bullied as a child, by a family of tough children who roamed the neighborhood free of parental guidance. These were the kind of kids who could sense insecurity a mile away, and knew just where to strike. (We're all familiar with them, as they grow up to be adults who send us to bookstores to purchase books on dealing with difficult people.) How great it was to come home from school to my miniature dachshund, Joey, who thought I was wonderful. He couldn't wait to see me; he was always there. After Joey, there was a toy poodle, Suzette. She was the girlfriend always ready to put up with my experiments in dog grooming. I felt prettier just holding her.

Our dogs were a source of happiness and security when life seemed mean. Think back to your first pet. What was it? How did you feel when you spent time with it? What did you tell your pet that you never told anyone else?

What is an open heart?

In the winter of 2006, Meg Bertini, a vibrant, intelligent publisher for whom I'd done some illustrations, asked me if I'd like to write on the theme Open Your Heart with Pets: Mastering Life through Love of Animals. Meg had launched the "Open Your Heart" series of books on a wide range of subjects and as she knew my love of animals, and of writing, it seemed a good match.
I was excited at the prospect of holding the finished book in my hands, and being able to say I was published by Dreamtime Publishing, but first I had to write it... And, even before that, I spent some time musing about what it means to have an open heart. Here's what I came up with:

An open heart is a heart that feels comfortable saying: "Let's try." "We'll find a way." "Let's learn something new." An open heart is a heart that is not afraid; it knows how to endure sadness. It knows how to heal and how to forgive. It is strong and loving. An open heart is not exclusively feminine or masculine. At its most basic, an open heart is a heart that is not afraid to love deeply. It is not blind to cost, or reason, or practicality--but it's not necessarily governed by those factors either. An open heart sees possibilities. It has vision. It is patient, it is wise.

Most would agree--an open heart is a good thing--for a man or woman with an open heart is a joy and a pleasure to be around. Their positive attitude and energy are infectious, even inspiring. Open-hearted individuals may be leaders or they may be a quiet, constant manifestation of goodness to their immediate circle. Intelligence, good health, family connections, and money are not prerequisites to opening one's heart to a pet. You can begin wherever you are in life's journey--in fact, starting the process lets in that sliver of light on the door of a heart, and we know just how much can grow and happen with the smallest bit of light.

When I put these thoughts to paper, I realized that I would have the easiest of all the Dreamtime authors. Their subjects were basketball, skiing, reading, singing, geocaching, art... Really, what is more able to open one's heart than a pet?

When I was writing Open Your Heart with Pets, I had the pleasure of communicating with pet lovers throughout the U.S. They generously shared their stories, and the response only increased my belief that pets, and their unique instincts and gifts, can give us as much, if not more, than we can give them.